Getting Through A Sh*tty Xmas
Christmas is not always jolly - sometimes it’s really really hard.
That’s especially true if things have been tough lately for other reasons.
Your parents might be getting divorced, you’ve might have been bullied at school, or something stressful like sexual abuse has recently happened to you.
Things like this can make you feel different and make something that is supposed to be so “merry” feel even worse.
If this is the case here’s our advice for how to get through your sh*tty Christmas;
Don’t feel you have to pretend to be having a “happy holiday”.
It’s OK if you are sad or hurting! You DON’T have to ignore or try and deny how you’re feeling – there are actually a lot of us out there having a sh*tty Christmas, it’s that we’re all just suffering in silence.. Acknowledging it and being kind to yourself (like you would a friend) will help it not overwhelm you. This will SO MUCH EASIER if you can talk to someone about what is going on for you, so if something is on your mind, find a safe person to share it with. (if you are needing to share something heavy like an unwanted sexual experience we have a free downloadable guide to give them to help you support you in the right way.)
It's OK to give yourself a break from thinking about what happened to you and get into the Christmas traditions you have always enjoyed.
Traditions can be really soothing and take you away from pain or heartache. Let yourself feel like a kid again if that’s what you need or want, don’t feel you have to be cool and tough.
It’s always ALWAYS going to help if you can practice good self-care!
Make sure you are getting outside in the beautiful summer weather and getting some exercise in when you can.
That’ll help to keep your mood and help your stress from tipping over into crayville if you have to spend a lot of time doing a lot of social Christmas things with lots of family. Saying you are going for a walk or run is a great way to get some time for you.
Be with people who make you feel good.
Find the auntie you feel relaxed around, check in with your bestie, do what you need to keep your mood up and your stress down. Remember when you feel bad it is suuuuper tempting to curl up and say “go away” to the world. Actually being around people helps protect against the blues (Even if you aren’t Loling and high-fiving the whole time) so find the people you feel best around and hang out with them when you can.
Don't get sucked down the social media black hole.
Social media is everyone’s highlight reel and it is easy to get serious FOMO and think everyone is having a better time then you. They aren’t. Put the phone down. If it’s not making you feel good it’s not good.
Take time outs when you can.
Again exercise is good for this, but so is doing something you enjoy or find relaxing, like drawing, writing, playing / listening to music (headphones help if you don’t feel like talking), practicing a sport, spear fishing, painting your nails, cave diving, whatever it is you are into!
If you have extra time on your hands, maybe explore that mindfulness stuff everyones always talking about.
Here are our tips to try it out.
Remember if you aren’t having a merry Christmas YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! If things are really bad and you are feeling TOTALLY OVERWHLEMED remember that lots of people need help this time of year and there are people you can reach out to for help.
And remember that Em's here for you if you need us!
Check out our Empower section for how you can cope when life is feeling just a little bit sh*t.. We also have a whole survival guide for things like dealing with family fights.
Be a force, and let's all get through it together!
Here's the awesome people you can call ANY TIME you need them for free:
Youthline provides these services:
Free phone 0800 37 66 33 for 24/7 support
Free TXT 234 between 8am and midnight
Email talk@youthline.co.nz
For support through confusing or unwanted sexual experiences call HELP's confidential 24/7 phone line.nPhone (09) 623 1700 (24 hour confidential phoneline, or email info@helpauckland.org.nz.
