She's So Easy
Gossip and rumours can seem harmless - even fun. But they can be devastating when they're about you - look how horrible it was for Hannah.
First up though, let's deal with how things could have gone differently when Hannah was being stalked and bullied by creepy Tyler.
Why did Hannah feel like she had to deal with a stalker on her own?
You said Hannah might have been worried no one would believe her, or she wouldn’t be taken seriously. We get it. Sometimes you have to fight really hard to be heard when you speak up about harassment. This shouldn’t be the case, but we think that if Hannah went to her parents or a school counselor and told them about her stalker, they would do something to help. Hannah shouldn’t have to deal with this on her own.
Why did Courtney think that finding a stalker would be fun?
Courtney didn’t get how intense it was until she was caught up in it too, and had to worry about pictures of HER getting shared. This might sound selfish, but it’s more common than you think.
Like the list, it’s easy to see things as a joke until they affect you and you realize how seriously people get hurt by this “harmless” stuff.
If Tyler really loved Hannah, why did he send out the photo?
Good question! You said Tyler felt hurt when Hannah shot him down for asking her out AFTER BEING A SUPER CREEPY STALKER.
When you love someone, you care about them and want the best for them always. So why would Tyler subject the girl he “loves” to this kind of stalking and bullying?Tyler wants to get back at Hannah after she rejects him. That's NOT love.
What could we do to be there for a friend if they thought they were being stalked? If a friend is being stalked we need to take it seriously. We need to get all the help we can - from school, parents, from whoever, to STOP the behavior. Being stalked makes you feel like you are NEVER SAFE, and no one should go through that, especially alone.
That's not me! Courtney - Episode 5
This week it’s all about rumours and bullying. Who hasn’t been there, right? It's meant to be a normal part of growing up, but man, it HURTS.
First up is Courtney. Freaked out by someone recognising her in Tyler’s stalker pic, she directs everyone's attention away by throwing Hannah under the bus, and making up even MORE stuff she did with Justin. Who cares if it’ll devastate Hannah?
Courtney only cares about herself, whereas she figures Hannah already has a “reputation”.
Hannah calls Courtney on her bullsh*t, saying “I was trying to be a true friend to you, one who DOESN’T JUDGE, but I am not YOUR SHIELD to hide who you truly are” Clapping hands emoji, Hannah is badass!
But yet again there are rumours going alllll around school about how easy Hannah is. And from someone she thought was a friend. Not. Cool.
You're meant to be easy! Marcus, Episode 6
Next up is Marcus, a “stand up” guy - who turns out to be a giant douchebag in disguise.
Hannah thinks she might make an actual connection with Marcus, but he turns out to be only interested in her being DTF. Yuck.
Hannah does a pretty impressive job of telling him to f off when he grabs her, but it leaves her so shaken she can’t even move from the diner seat she’s been in for hours.
This is SOOOOO normal it hurts to watch.
Sexual abuse and harassment leave us shocked, numb, fearful and panicked. That makes it harder and harder to reach out.
And feeling alone is what makes us more and more vulnerable to future abuse and self-harm.
Hannah, if we could, we would jump in there and tell you it’s not your fault, and hold your hand while you cry it out, we would!!!
It’s all my fault
Mariam was 13 years old when a guy she was friends with forced her to let him do things she didn’t want him to - fingering her and going down on her. Then he told all his friends, who told the whole school about it.
Soon Mariam had a reputation for being “easy”. Mariam even believed it herself, wondering why she “let him do that”. She felt like she was somehow dirty or bad.
Mariam didn't tell anyone because she was so ashamed about what had happened, and she was soon isolated by her friends.
Girls would whisper about her when she walked past, and boys would call out to her in the school halls. Mariam fell into a deep depression. She started cutting to cope with the pain she felt inside and she withdrew from her family.
Once someone noticed her scars from cutting, Mariam was referred to counselling. It took a long time for Mariam to trust the counselor enough to tell her what had happened, but once she had she was relieved to have support to work through all her suffering. The counselor referred her to HELP, a counselling agency that helps girls who have been abused.
Mariam’s counsellor helped her to see she had done nothing wrong, and that he was the only person who should be ashamed.
They made a plan to help Mariam survive her episodes of intense depression without hurting herself. Together they worked on things she could do that would make her happier and more resilient.
It took a long time but Mariam got her confidence back. Eventually she became a peer mentor and starting an anti-bullying campaign at school.
She felt she wanted to use her experiences for good to change the school culture so no one would feel as alone and hopeless as she had once felt
Everyone's talking about me
There's nothing worse than feeling like everyone's talking about you. And being targeted by guys because they think you're "easy" is a horrible, scary feeling. You don't deserve it, and it's not OK.
Here are our questions for you this week about how everyone could rewind the tape to help Hannah:
- What could Clay have done at the dance when he heard the rumours about Hannah?
- Why were those guys getting Jess so wasted?
- Why did Marcus turn up at the diner with all of his friends?!
- If Marcus is an honours roll student,then how come he's such a d*ck to Hannah?
- Why are only girls called "easy"? Why do we think it's so shameful?
- What could you do to help the Hannahs in your life who might be called "easy"?
Tell us what you think everyone would do if they could go back in time.
Comment on Facebook or Instagram and we'll share your ideas next week in our deep dive on Episode 5 next week!
This is part of a series to help us see what we can do to help give the Hannah Bakers of the world a different ending x.
Here are alllll the links here:
Ep 7 & 8: That girl is too much
Ep 11: Triggers & White Knights
Ep 12: The worst day of my life
